As a lesbian with HIV I have very specific issues and concerns. I participate in the Couples Workshop with my lover at the Annual National Gay and Lesbian conference as a forum to address some of these issues. Along with the stigma that goes with the disease, in straight society we are labeled as bad or seen as if we must have done something wrong, because after all, "lesbians don't get AIDS!" I feel that the most invisible people in the AIDS epidemic are the partners of those infected, especially lesbians. Being the partner of an HIV lesbian puts the same stigma on my HIV- partner as me: "With all the lesbians in the world, why do you have to be with her?!" people ask, and "After being with Dorothy, an HIV+ lesbian, I would never date now!" It is difficult for us because when I go to conferences on scholarship my partner is either forced to sneak in or she can't go with me. As a full-time student living off government loans she is below the poverty level. I get more SSI than she gets in loans per month. My partner speaks out publicly in class about our status and our issues. Without her I never would have become an AIDS advocate. Thank God we get scholarships to conferences or we couldn't do our workshop, which is a great success year after year. At the workshops and conferences there is inclusion of everyone and all our needs are addressed. Every voice is valuable and important.

I also want to tell you about other important aspects of my support system. I came to IEP with terrible peripheral neuropathy, low energy and stress. Fatigue and pain stopped me from doing my normal activities. I could barely walk to the office for treatment. Tom interviewed me and gave me Chinese herbs for my neuropathy, stress, anxiety and fatigue. He set me up with an appointment for acupuncture with Sandy. At that point I was so disabled that I had to get a "disabled" placard from the DMV so I could make it to my many doctor appointments in the City. With herbs and acupuncture treatments, I gradually began to feel better. Little by little, the pain went away.

Sandy and I have created a deep bond and I have grown to love her. She has helped me emotionally through many troubled times. She and Elyse, the program coordinator are very supportive of women with HIV; always interested and concerned with our plight and struggles. Elyse is always up-to-date on the conferences in town, including the Lesbians and HIV town panel where she heard my lover and I talk about our issues. They find ways to make our journey easier. Sandy never steers me away from western medicine, but works with me and my regimen of anti-virals and protease inhibitors and all the side effects they cause. She has also has supported me and my lover Amy to process the death of my father, and Amy's mother who is dying from lung cancer. Sandy also lost her mom recently and can empathize.

Many people help me at IEP. I really like Elyse, David, Sandy and Tom; everyone at IEP. Among the services I receive are massages which help reduce my stress and Reiki treatments. Acupuncture and herbs help with my gastrointestinal problems. Qi Gong exercises taught at the International Center by Emilio Gonzalez empower me and give me extra energy. Daniel is always helpful with my appointments and scheduling. Monica is sweet and calls the day before to remind me of my appointment the following day. We are like one big family working together to keep me healthy.

My support system is the most important aspect in my life. Amy and I have so much love together! I guess you could also say I surround myself with people that love me and care about me. I also volunteer at several AIDS agencies and I find it very rewarding. My support system and the clinical trials give me alot of hope and faith. I also bowl Monday nights at Japantown Bowl, where I get support from the SF Bears. God willing, I hope to participate in the Gay Games '98 with my league in Amsterdam.